Something very distressing is happening in our community. For some, the news is only getting to them now. For others, their distaste has been snowballing for the past decade. I must admit, I am one of the casualties… of the Modern Mullet.

The modern mullet is most frequently presented as a shave around the ears, sometimes with shorter hair on the sides. The distinguishing feature? A modern mullet usually has less length difference in the front and back and more length difference on the sides. Many modern mullet-havers cut their own hair when the promise of social seclusion seemed unending. The trend exploded following RuPaul’s obsession with Drag Race Season 12’s icon Crystal Methyd and her daring ‘do; others are inspired by various icons like Miley Cyrus and Zendaya. Mullet-havers are consistently defending themselves to a majorly quintessential and misunderstanding audience. So, we find ourselves pushing the mullet agenda. 

Is the mullet a blessing or a curse? For senior Rory Behm, the stakes were fairly low when he cut his own hair over quarantine. 

“There was this lady that taught me how to cut my hair on YouTube,” says Behm. “I don’t know what her name is though. I think, if you look up ‘how to cut a mullet,’ she’s the first one that pops up. Go subscribe to that queen.” 

Behm also admitted to previously having a Justin Bieber haircut. 

“I’ve had basically the same hairstyle my whole life except this one. I just had a strong side-part at varying lengths, with bangs swooping down,” Behm says.

After surveying his Instagram ‘close-friends’ followers, it took one go-ahead vote to convince Behm to take a pair of scissors to his sideburns. Many mullet-havers seem to relate to the impulsivity that possessed Behm. 

Mullets have been a staple in the Southern U.S. country music scene for a long while. This type of mullet is often referred to as a “Yee-haw mullet.” At ETHS, the yee-haw mullet is often rejected as a fashion statement and regarded as a mid-highschool crisis. 

“Literally horrible. I think there’s no intention with it. [The yeehaw-mullet] doesn’t do anything for me,” Rose Goodman, another mullet-having senior, remarks. 

All over social media, teenagers and adults alike are saying that mullets and undercuts should be replaced with therapy. But the yee-haw mullet can be easily confused with the modern mullet, a queer staple. 

“It made me more confident and comfortable with who I am. It gave me room to experiment more,” Goodman says. 

Behm agrees that mullets can distinguish a person’s identity and personality. He also says that part of the premise of this haircut is its rebellious nature. 

“I think I’m gonna start telling people that their mullets look bad so I can be more unique. I think it looks good on most people, I don’t think anyone would look worse with a mullet. And I think it’s a fun energy. I think more people should have mullets. As long as they stay away from me.” 

Mullets are for everybody, with one caveat—avoid other mullet-havers.