For many people, culture is very integral to their character. People take comfort in the certainty of their heritage and understanding how the world will treat them. However for white passing people of color, this certainty is compromised. For many white passing people, they feel it is hard to express their culture and understand their place in society. As a white passing biracial(white & black) man, I can admit I’ve experienced moments where I’ve felt uncomfortable due to my complexion. However, I’ve come to realize some acceptance in being racially ambiguous, and have compiled the stories of others who consider themselves white passing.
To be white passing in a visual/physical sense means to be an individual of two or more races that doesn’t appear as one or more and looks to be white, put simply. Some recognizable elements of the recessive race/ethnicity may shine through like hair, or voice timbre for example, but nonetheless these individuals come across Caucasian. In a societal sense, to be white passing has a lot more significance. Many white passing people have moments they can recollect where they have felt uncomfortable due to how they fear people may perceive them in a cultural setting/sense. Look to this anecdote from Eleanor Shearer:
The Throes of not Looking Like You
“The white boy at the house-party — my first at a new school — looked me over. Eyes slightly narrowed, an appraising gaze. “You know,” he said. “I’m pretty sure you’re making up this whole Black mum thing.” I don’t remember what I said to him. Probably, desperate to fit in, I just laughed nervously into my drink. But I will always remember his words.” Shearer details.
This experience exemplifies my claim, showing Shearer to be made uncomfortable in their situation because of their racial nature.
For a more personal approach, I interviewed my sibling, Asha Holmes-who also happens to be mixed and creole. (White passing)
Asha stated she recognizes she looks more white passing than mixed, however she feels biracial nonetheless, even if she may need to provide context. “Often people don’t wanna push back, if people see something they’re not used to they question it, so that’s why I say I’m biracial. Race is also used as a systematic form of oppression and culturally I feel black but when it comes to phenotypes I’m aware I may not be perceived as black and I’m aware I benefit from white privilege.”
Asha states they’ve had multiple moments where her complexion has made them uncomfortable, like when a boy would call them a “mut” in middle school, and have had some stumbles or tedious moments due to being white passing:
“A big struggle I think that white passing people go through, or just people who don’t really fit into a box american forces, is that it gets tiring trying to understand where you stand in society. When I was younger, especially around middle school, the race disparity became more prevalent because in haven you were either white and rich or you weren’t, and I experienced more subtle microaggression that I didn’t pick up until I was older. There was a certain pressure to act a certain way around certain people, act black here, don’t make white people uncomfortable, etc. People used to always ask me to say the N-word, that still happens.”
I also took the liberty of interviewing a close friend of mine, Patrick Blackwell who also happens to be a mixed- biracial black and white man. Patrick, in his own words, would say he is less concerned with his complexion and doesn’t put much thought into his white passing appearance .
When asked how he feels about being white passing, Patrick stated: “I don’t mind it, not really. The only time it gets on my nerves is when people berate me for it or plead for me to say the n word. I had no implication of what it meant, to be white passing, until middle school.” Patrick detailed- his situation not unlike Asha’s and many before them.
I Accepted it, and you Should Too
Asha later elaborated that it isn’t all bad, and how they’ve been able to take pride in their heritage.
“Understanding the creole culture really helped, because I didn’t feel like a freak of nature anymore and didn’t need to rely on any: “The printer ran out of ink” jokes or anything. Now I’m proud of my culture and not only does being creole help soothe the feeling of being out of place, but provides reasoning. it’s important to know where you come from and you will find your people.”
Asha’s story is similar to many mixed people in the world, not just white passing individuals per say. Many biracial people feel an internal conflict that is sparked by societal/american standards- that conflict being the individuals having to either grasp what it means to share heritage with multiple races and embrace them both, or let one prosper while the other is diluted in certain groups, with the latter being a common experience in every mixed person’s life. It’s only later in life when these individuals can actualize both races and accept themselves fully, not unlike the hierarchy of needs.
Near the end of our interview, Patrick closed with some words of wisdom and encouragement for others like him: “Why are you uncomfortable with it? (Appearing as white passing) In my opinion, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I accept it, and you should too.”
White Passing doesn’t mean Bad
For those of you who may be reading this and can reciprocate any of these emotions, please understand that there is nothing wrong with you or your skin color. For those of you who may not be able to empathize with what it means to be white passing, I’m sure you understand what it means to hide part of yourself. All I wish is that I’ve been able to shed some light on this microcosm of race and culture. If I can leave you with anything, please stop asking us to say the N word.
